Over the past couple of years, I have been exploring the notion of kindness through my project ‘Love Thy Neighbour’, within which I create a chain of portraits, with each participant selecting the next because they have shown them kindness. It allows those involved too openly acknowledge the generosity and support that they have experienced from someone else.
The idea is simple, but the way in which we engage with our local and global communities will often lead us to assume the worst in humanity. I wanted to affirm the idea that actually we are all inherently good, perhaps all hurting in our own ways, but to acknowledge that if we believe the good in one another, it is more likely to be a reality for all of us.
The kindness that we show one another is often altruistic, something for which we do not anticipate a reward or even a response, but in reading more about the act of being kind, it seems clear that the positives of a generous act go far beyond benefitting only the recipient. The more you give, the more you have.
David Robson writes in The Guardian, “A wealth of new studies has shown that being kind to others is often the most effective means of suppressing the physiological and psychological stress response. Whether we are giving our time to a charity, “paying it forward” in a coffee shop, or providing emotional succour to a friend in need, altruism can boost our wellbeing in ways that we simply do not experience from treating ourselves. Other-care, it seems, is often one of the best forms of self-care.”
Dutch writer Rutger Bregman agrees. In his book ‘Humankind: A Hopeful History’ he explores some of the physiological experiments upon which we base our understanding that humans are inherently selfish and have gone on to form ur economic and social models would have us believe that we are all striving for the top at any cost. But in digging deeper, he finds flaws in each of them, instead leaning into a hope for a new realism in which our natural state for doing good can come to the fore.
“The story goes that the philosopher Thomas Hobbes – who famously argued that people are fundamentally selfish – was once strolling around London with a friend, when he stopped suddenly to give a beggar some money. His friend was surprised. Hadn’t Hobbes himself said that it’s in our nature to be selfish? The philosopher didn’t see a problem. Witnessing the beggar’s suffering caused Hobbes discomfort, so it felt good to give the man a few coins. Ergo, his action was motivated by self-interest.”
“For the last couple of centuries, philosophers and psychologists have racked their brains over the question whether there is such a thing as pure selflessness. But to be honest, that whole debate doesn’t really interest me. Because just imagine living in a world where you got a sick feeling every time you performed a kind act. What sort of hell would that be?”
“The wonderful fact is that we live in a world where doing good also feels good. We like food because without food we’d starve. We like helping because without each other we couldn’t survive either. Doing good typically feels good because it is good.”
It says a lot about our current social state that we are even required to make this observation, but in order to feel like there is hope for the future, we need to assume two things, firstly that we are all significant enough to make a difference to one another, whether that’s within our own households, at work or within a passing interaction. We also need to assume the best in each other.
I am delighted to present the latest iteration of Love Thy Neighbour, a commission from the United Church Winchester to celebrate their 50th anniversary. The exhibition, which opens later this week, includes a series of 15 portraits made over the summer, each supported by quotes from participants about their interactions in both receiving and giving kindness.
The intention is not to portray a chain of transactions or shine a light on particularly worthy stories, the participants are a self selecting group and therefore demonstrates the cohesion of the broader community and their commitment to one another.
My hope is that this project through its various ongoing forms invites us all to consider the presence of kindness in our lives, where we are able to both give and receive it, and to be close enough to those around us to know when support might be needed.
You can see the whole project on my site here: Love Thy Neighbour
“I think it's made me realise that I don't think I've ever had anybody highlight the value of kindness. I think it's really important, because in our culture we value intelligence, we value hard work, we value wealth and success. So, kindness doesn't really come into any of those traditional categories, does it?” - Susan
“I do think that the whole world works a lot better when you're kind to each other, rather than if you're selfish and grabbing what you can at other people's expense. If you help somebody else, whether or not you get help back, it's made the place better.” - Steve
“I think kindness is completely inherent in human nature. It doesn't require theology or belief, and I've found there's so much kindness that doesn't depend on anything except people recognising each other's humanity and responding to it.” - Penny
This article is taken from my September Mailout which also features some of my latest news and cultural highlights.
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